This is well-timed, as I have been working on a post about "How not to Fix!" The temptation to problem solve, give advice, preach, pray, etc can be so strong. Also, I love that you use the WAIT acronym. I use it with my students, but sometimes in CPE group work, I also ask those more introverted to reflect on "Why Aren't I Talking?" as it can go different ways for different personalities!
I like the "Why Aren't I Talking?" version as well. A line I have learned to use as a fixer is, "I don't give advice because I'm afraid people will take it."
Thank you so much, both for your kindness about my book and sharing it with your group, and for sharing what was tough about it. I remember when I pitched my book idea, chapter 12 was one the publisher was concerned would be less applicable to the general reader. I resisted, because I love the church year so much. But, you're right on!
I've read through your book twice now and was part of the discussion group. Your writing was life changing for me. I've slowed the pace of life and look at my priorities for fulfillment rather than productivity. This is good for me and also better for people in my life. Thank you for writing this book!
Thank you for this, Todd. I have much to learn here and appreciate your giving me some principles to follow, and also further reading from April. And I’d love to hear more about “Charles Taylor’s theories on the four levels of secularization at cocktail parties.”
I continue to really enjoy these posts on conversations! One of the most wonderful things about Spiritual Companioning/Direction for me has been the rule that I’m not allowed to fix! I am allowed to be in the presence of a whole, amazing, complicated person. The practice of companioning has definitely helped me pay attention to when I speak and when I don’t and why. I, like you, like talk, and particularly love to tell stories:).
This is well-timed, as I have been working on a post about "How not to Fix!" The temptation to problem solve, give advice, preach, pray, etc can be so strong. Also, I love that you use the WAIT acronym. I use it with my students, but sometimes in CPE group work, I also ask those more introverted to reflect on "Why Aren't I Talking?" as it can go different ways for different personalities!
I like the "Why Aren't I Talking?" version as well. A line I have learned to use as a fixer is, "I don't give advice because I'm afraid people will take it."
Thank you so much, both for your kindness about my book and sharing it with your group, and for sharing what was tough about it. I remember when I pitched my book idea, chapter 12 was one the publisher was concerned would be less applicable to the general reader. I resisted, because I love the church year so much. But, you're right on!
I've read through your book twice now and was part of the discussion group. Your writing was life changing for me. I've slowed the pace of life and look at my priorities for fulfillment rather than productivity. This is good for me and also better for people in my life. Thank you for writing this book!
Kathleen, thank you so much for this! Reading about the way you've engaged with my book is so encouraging to me!
Thank you for this, Todd. I have much to learn here and appreciate your giving me some principles to follow, and also further reading from April. And I’d love to hear more about “Charles Taylor’s theories on the four levels of secularization at cocktail parties.”
I continue to really enjoy these posts on conversations! One of the most wonderful things about Spiritual Companioning/Direction for me has been the rule that I’m not allowed to fix! I am allowed to be in the presence of a whole, amazing, complicated person. The practice of companioning has definitely helped me pay attention to when I speak and when I don’t and why. I, like you, like talk, and particularly love to tell stories:).