This is a wonderful reflection Todd. I feel the same as you about small talk, I struggle to open up sometimes and often feel like I don't have anything interesting or light hearted to share about my own life - I'm much better at asking questions. My father in law, however, makes it look easy and seems to have stories or anecdotes for everything!
I tend to ask questions that don’t always have a gentle start up, so I liked your approach to having deep meaningful discourse with the right amount of small talk. As a mother in the suburbs, I find young “kids” and babies to be a great entry point for me, and it’s unlike anything else. Like people are so eager to approach people with babies, at the mall or public places, and have small talk, maybe even encouraging talk “you’re doing great, it’s hard but it gets easier trust me it’s not always going to be like this” Like on airplanes when you try to help the nervous parent with the fussy child just by smiling. It gives me hope in our shared humanity that people can still have small talk that grows deeper. Thank you
Sadie, the little moments of shared humanity matter more than we realize. I may not be able to have a deep and meaningful discussion with everyone, but I can give the gift of letting someone know they are seen.
Todd, as a fellow ‘very intense child’ this really resonated with me. I love going in for the deeper conversations, but you are absolutely right that deftly navigating small talk can lead there if you truly engage.
I do this constantly. Check socials, watch the people dying in my screens and the children being pulled from the rubble, and then I plaster a professional smile to my face and log onto my virtual work meeting to talk about budgets and IT modernization.
This is a wonderful reflection Todd. I feel the same as you about small talk, I struggle to open up sometimes and often feel like I don't have anything interesting or light hearted to share about my own life - I'm much better at asking questions. My father in law, however, makes it look easy and seems to have stories or anecdotes for everything!
I'm reminding myself several times a day to just be curious.
I tend to ask questions that don’t always have a gentle start up, so I liked your approach to having deep meaningful discourse with the right amount of small talk. As a mother in the suburbs, I find young “kids” and babies to be a great entry point for me, and it’s unlike anything else. Like people are so eager to approach people with babies, at the mall or public places, and have small talk, maybe even encouraging talk “you’re doing great, it’s hard but it gets easier trust me it’s not always going to be like this” Like on airplanes when you try to help the nervous parent with the fussy child just by smiling. It gives me hope in our shared humanity that people can still have small talk that grows deeper. Thank you
Sadie, the little moments of shared humanity matter more than we realize. I may not be able to have a deep and meaningful discussion with everyone, but I can give the gift of letting someone know they are seen.
Great practices - particularly liked the like about using curiosity to listen out for a hook to draw out deeper conversation
Todd, as a fellow ‘very intense child’ this really resonated with me. I love going in for the deeper conversations, but you are absolutely right that deftly navigating small talk can lead there if you truly engage.
I stop and tell myself that not everyone is walking around thinking the world is on fire today. I maybe that isn't so healthy for me either!
I do this constantly. Check socials, watch the people dying in my screens and the children being pulled from the rubble, and then I plaster a professional smile to my face and log onto my virtual work meeting to talk about budgets and IT modernization.
Thanks, Todd. I love this idea, inspiring.